Fasting should open up hands and energies for new things. For old things forgotten. I found it very interesting in my reading of Isaiah 58 this morning that God defines fasting in verses 6 and 7 by things done, not things not done. There are verbs here: loose, undo, let free, share, break, bring. I spent a little time considering what one would have to surrender or lose or give up to do the things indicated in this kind of fast. Two examples: "To undo the straps of the yoke," you practically need to remove your hands from your own work and move them to the straps of the yoke. "To let the oppressed go free" cues a sense of refraining from anger, in the sense that to let those that you hold prisoner, you must be willing to forgive their trespasses (real or imagined).
Now, I don't feel that I am anywhere close to this kind of fasting God lays out here. But it was something to consider. A seed of this carries into my reflections about my experience so far of giving up Facebook for Lent, in terms of freedom and replacing behaviors. Personally, I don't participate in the "giving something up for Lent" thing unless there has been something on my heart or mind prior to the season. It's not something I choose because the calendar says so. For example, I gave up music for Lent in high school one year. ALL music. I worked at an ice rink, so when I had to skate guard (ie, skate around during public skates to make sure no one hurts themselves and you aren't being stupid about other people's safety), I wore ear plugs. Odd, but understandable. But this also applied to music at church. Whaaat? You may think. What's so wrong with church music? Nothing. But I was finding that I was relying too much on worship music to create my relationship with God. I needed to learn other ways to connect with God. In the beginning, I just retreated to the back of the room during teen church on Sundays and youth group on Wednesdays and not participate in the musical portion, maybe try reflecting on just the words. Not working. So I would leave the room and try praying. (My pastor came out to check on me once, haha.) Easter showed up that year, and I remember being so excited to sing Alleluia with the whole congregation. I sang loudly, at the top of my lungs. It was so beautiful to hear such joy in music after such silence. And to be able to fully participate in corporate worship again. To add to that, the following weekend, I headed off to Costa Rica on a mission trip with my youth group, where we only sung in Spanish. So beautiful to be able to worship even when I didn't know the language!
Nobody suggested I give up music. Likewise, nobody has suggested I give up Facebook. It seems to be a popular thing to do, but it's something I try to do on a monthly basis anyway. Every handful of weeks, I have a no technology day. The phone goes off. The laptop gets shut down. It forces me to be present to the day. I notice a shift in how I approach the day, where my mind goes. It's a good thing to do. I have felt too consumed with Facebook in recent weeks, so I've decided to give it up for Lent.
1. I spend far too much time on it. I break from work to check it because I need a mental break for a little bit, and I end up spending 15+ minutes on it, when 5 minutes or less is what I needed. And it rarely serves that purpose anyway, because:
2. It makes my brain noisy. There's just TOO MUCH coming at me through Facebook. Words. Statements. Humor that isn't necessarily appropriate or good. Articles that say lots of things without COMMUNICATING.
3. I honestly end up in the jealousy trap. I am happy with my life, truly, until my newsfeed fills with engagement and baby announcements and gorgeous wedding pictures. Then I consider my life less than. When it is not.
It's been about a week since I logged off. The first day or two was challenging, just because I kept running into old habits: reaching for my phone first thing in the morning, wanting to disengage from work after only working for 10 minutes because I'm overwhelmed, wanting to take a picture to share something. It's calmed down a little now, but there are still inclinations and desires to check it. I know I need to find something to do for my mental work break...if it were warmer, I'd be inclined for it to be stepping outside for a little bit. In the meantime, I'm considering coloring. Yes, coloring, as in a coloring book. My best friend's mom gave me a Harry Potter coloring book for my birthday, with crayons labeled with chemicals that have those colors. ^.^
But I'm also now at a point where I am starting to see the freedom in this fast. I'm hopeful for what God can do with this in my personal devotional life; the ways he'll shape my heart in the midst of this. Focusing my heart on him instead of church politics. I'm also looking forward to writing more. Taking time to fully flesh out my ideas, rather than biting out 140 words. I also hope it helps me take personal risks. It's easier to try to make social plans with Facebook because it's less direct, more non-committal. I could invite everyone and no one at the same time when I'm bored on a Friday night with a vague status update. Or, I could suggest it on someone's wall, for their consideration whenever they choose. Instead, I'll be forced to take the risk to actually contact someone to ask them if they would be interested in coffee or something.
:) I had other ideas, in the vein of considering the options and freedom logging off Facebook offers. But they've left my brain. In the end, I'm hopeful for this season. I look forward to the work God will do these next five weeks.
Now, I don't feel that I am anywhere close to this kind of fasting God lays out here. But it was something to consider. A seed of this carries into my reflections about my experience so far of giving up Facebook for Lent, in terms of freedom and replacing behaviors. Personally, I don't participate in the "giving something up for Lent" thing unless there has been something on my heart or mind prior to the season. It's not something I choose because the calendar says so. For example, I gave up music for Lent in high school one year. ALL music. I worked at an ice rink, so when I had to skate guard (ie, skate around during public skates to make sure no one hurts themselves and you aren't being stupid about other people's safety), I wore ear plugs. Odd, but understandable. But this also applied to music at church. Whaaat? You may think. What's so wrong with church music? Nothing. But I was finding that I was relying too much on worship music to create my relationship with God. I needed to learn other ways to connect with God. In the beginning, I just retreated to the back of the room during teen church on Sundays and youth group on Wednesdays and not participate in the musical portion, maybe try reflecting on just the words. Not working. So I would leave the room and try praying. (My pastor came out to check on me once, haha.) Easter showed up that year, and I remember being so excited to sing Alleluia with the whole congregation. I sang loudly, at the top of my lungs. It was so beautiful to hear such joy in music after such silence. And to be able to fully participate in corporate worship again. To add to that, the following weekend, I headed off to Costa Rica on a mission trip with my youth group, where we only sung in Spanish. So beautiful to be able to worship even when I didn't know the language!
Nobody suggested I give up music. Likewise, nobody has suggested I give up Facebook. It seems to be a popular thing to do, but it's something I try to do on a monthly basis anyway. Every handful of weeks, I have a no technology day. The phone goes off. The laptop gets shut down. It forces me to be present to the day. I notice a shift in how I approach the day, where my mind goes. It's a good thing to do. I have felt too consumed with Facebook in recent weeks, so I've decided to give it up for Lent.
1. I spend far too much time on it. I break from work to check it because I need a mental break for a little bit, and I end up spending 15+ minutes on it, when 5 minutes or less is what I needed. And it rarely serves that purpose anyway, because:
2. It makes my brain noisy. There's just TOO MUCH coming at me through Facebook. Words. Statements. Humor that isn't necessarily appropriate or good. Articles that say lots of things without COMMUNICATING.
3. I honestly end up in the jealousy trap. I am happy with my life, truly, until my newsfeed fills with engagement and baby announcements and gorgeous wedding pictures. Then I consider my life less than. When it is not.
It's been about a week since I logged off. The first day or two was challenging, just because I kept running into old habits: reaching for my phone first thing in the morning, wanting to disengage from work after only working for 10 minutes because I'm overwhelmed, wanting to take a picture to share something. It's calmed down a little now, but there are still inclinations and desires to check it. I know I need to find something to do for my mental work break...if it were warmer, I'd be inclined for it to be stepping outside for a little bit. In the meantime, I'm considering coloring. Yes, coloring, as in a coloring book. My best friend's mom gave me a Harry Potter coloring book for my birthday, with crayons labeled with chemicals that have those colors. ^.^
But I'm also now at a point where I am starting to see the freedom in this fast. I'm hopeful for what God can do with this in my personal devotional life; the ways he'll shape my heart in the midst of this. Focusing my heart on him instead of church politics. I'm also looking forward to writing more. Taking time to fully flesh out my ideas, rather than biting out 140 words. I also hope it helps me take personal risks. It's easier to try to make social plans with Facebook because it's less direct, more non-committal. I could invite everyone and no one at the same time when I'm bored on a Friday night with a vague status update. Or, I could suggest it on someone's wall, for their consideration whenever they choose. Instead, I'll be forced to take the risk to actually contact someone to ask them if they would be interested in coffee or something.
:) I had other ideas, in the vein of considering the options and freedom logging off Facebook offers. But they've left my brain. In the end, I'm hopeful for this season. I look forward to the work God will do these next five weeks.
